Nice try, creep.

Subject: Great Line
Were your parents retarded? ‘Cause you’re special.
Believe it or not, I hear things like this often.

Submitter writes: Received this a while back on OkCupid. It was unforgettable.
hello my name is [name] i was born [birthdate] in [city] i grew up in [city] i have light blonde hair blue eyes/glasses i will be 38 in a week from now i like to watch movies collect things like wolves and dolphins [...]

Subject: Red rum
I like how you colour your eyebrows pink, it’s hot…not many girls go that extra mile.
If I saw you in the streets, I’d ask you if the carpet matches the drapes, the last girl I asked said “actually, it does!” and Im willing to bet it’s the same with you.*
*I’m willing to bet [...]

Subject: hi
may i live with you?
As it turns out, unsolicited marriage proposals are quite commonplace in the realm of online dating. However, this is the first suitor to have taken the 38% divorce rate into consideration.
I’ve got to admit, he’s on to something. Why bother with all of that wedding hullabaloo? Hell, while we’re at [...]