Nice try, creep. » Flat-out Insults http://www.nicetrycreep.com A series of sordid sexual advances. Sat, 21 Aug 2010 16:22:46 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 Great Line http://www.nicetrycreep.com/2010/05/great-line/ http://www.nicetrycreep.com/2010/05/great-line/#comments Mon, 10 May 2010 13:16:41 +0000 Trip http://www.nicetrycreep.com/?p=1040

Subject: Great Line

Were your parents retarded? ‘Cause you’re special.

Believe it or not, I hear things like this often.

]]> http://www.nicetrycreep.com/2010/05/great-line/feed/ 0 You’re an ugly bitch. http://www.nicetrycreep.com/2009/11/youre-an-ugly-bitch/ http://www.nicetrycreep.com/2009/11/youre-an-ugly-bitch/#comments Tue, 10 Nov 2009 16:17:45 +0000 Tesla http://www.nicetrycreep.com/?p=610 The following is an excerpt from the longest message I have ever received, at an astounding 5000+ characters. This man kept saying goodbye, but would just continue typing. 

…okay okay awesome beautiful sexy penguin i should really go do something else. have a good life.
[name]

btw taht last line wasn’t supposed to be a name directed at you. i wasn’t refering to you as an awesome beautiful sexy penguin. because that would be flirtatious or something and thats not allowed at all.

im gay actually. yeah. super gay. thats what they tell me at least…

i dont really believe it…

lol so ive already said bye twice and yet here i am.. still writing.. 

wait. parts of this letter are getting far too complimentary, flirtatious wahtever.

you’re an ugly bitch.

there that should about even things out. no? not at all. 

im an ugly bitch. i put the bitch in lint. what?

I can only assume that he was drunk. It’s the only excuse.

]]> http://www.nicetrycreep.com/2009/11/youre-an-ugly-bitch/feed/ 0 You’re an idiot. Straight up. http://www.nicetrycreep.com/2009/10/straight-up/ http://www.nicetrycreep.com/2009/10/straight-up/#comments Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:40:03 +0000 Trip http://www.nicetrycreep.com/?p=434 If insincere flattery, nauseating love poems and pornographic pick-up lines aren’t working for you, why not try flat-out insulting a woman?

In my profile, I have listed my favourite movies as being The Dark Crystal, Blade Runner and Star Wars (Episodes IV-VI).

collegehockeyguy: The Dark Crystal was awful. Straight up. What a dissapointment as a child. lol

Seeing as I’ve listed the above as being one of my favourite films of all time, I cannot imagine how this man expected his comment to go over well.

Had he been aiming to start a dialogue, he may have opened with some insightful criticism, or perhaps some elucidatory remark about how puppets give him the creeps… but instead, he opted take a digital dump on my interests. Sophisticated.

Then again, coming from someone named collegehockeyguy, I’m not surprised. For all we know, this could very well have been the most penetratingly thoughtful communique he has ever written.

]]> http://www.nicetrycreep.com/2009/10/straight-up/feed/ 1 OMG I LOVE EATING CRAYONS!! http://www.nicetrycreep.com/2009/09/omg-i-love-eating-crayons/ http://www.nicetrycreep.com/2009/09/omg-i-love-eating-crayons/#comments Wed, 02 Sep 2009 06:15:36 +0000 Trip http://www.nicetrycreep.com/?p=115

Subject: (none)

i applied for a job at a mental hospital, but they said i needed 24 hours of experience with a retard.
wanna kick it? i’ve got crayons ;)

I’ve come to the conclusion that the author of this message was, in fact, developmentally delayed.

It goes without saying that should you ever wish to schedule a play-date with someone, it’s best not to open by calling them a retard.

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