Nice try, creep.

Subject: beautiful u are..

This message contained the standard, “U r stunning. Would u like to go for coffee sometime?” body text of most other mass appeal pickup lines — which, I can only assume, must be more effective on the average human female than the hopelessly nerdy subsection I belong to.

Tragically, the author is almost certainly unaware of the unintentional appeal he has garnered with his Yoda-like dialogue. Had his message only referenced my resplendent midi-chlorian count or his affinity for interstellar travel, we could be celebrating on the sanctuary moon right now.