Nice try, creep.

Subject: Red rum

I like how you colour your eyebrows pink, it’s hot…not many girls go that extra mile.

If I saw you in the streets, I’d ask you if the carpet matches the drapes, the last girl I asked said “actually, it does!” and Im willing to bet it’s the same with you.*

*I’m willing to bet that never actually happened… or, if indeed it did, that her reaction wasn’t nearly as pleasant as you make it out to be.

Shockingly inappropriate crotch contemplations aside, I would like to draw attention to the truly disturbing portion of this message. Red rum? RED RUM?!